Storytime: Lingam & Milking Table 

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  Why is 50% of your website password protected?​​

• There are pigeons in the industry that have been ripping me off. All of the unique names I call my treatments e.g ( The Edge ) and the way in which I describe my treatments have been stolen from my website word for word. This has been going on since I launched my milking table chronicles back in 2015. I have had catchphrase, descriptions, marketing slogans and personal photos stolen from my site. It has gone from bad to worst and I am far from flattered. However, if you would like to gain access to my entire website. Please fill out my appointment form and send me your screening information. After you have been vetted I will hit you up.

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   Can I make an appointment via phone or SMS?

• Hearing my phone ring constantly will drive me nuts! I also do not look at my work phone unless I am expecting an appointment. So please do not text me for an appointment. It will take days before I acknowledge it. If you are serious about securing an appointment, please fill out the appointment form on the top right menu bar. It's so fast and breezy that I'm often complimented on my expeditious responses.

 

   Do you accept same day appointments?

• Absolutely, It's a niche market that only a few can and will accommodate. However, there is a nominal surcharge of $40.

 

   Are home visits available?

• It most certainly is. I only visit select locations in NYC. There is a surcharge of $100 (No pets please)

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  What time is your last appointment?

• I begin my workday extremely early. My last appointment in NYC is @ 8:00 pm. Any appointments made after hours will incur a $100 surcharge.

 

   Do you work on weekends? ( Saturday/Sunday & All Major Holidays )

• Absolutely, I consider this me time, but I have no problem connecting with you. Please try to book in advance.

 

  Where is your private studio located?

• I am conveniently located in NYC. After you have successfully booked your appointment, my location will follow.

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   Do you also consult couples?

• Absolbloodylootely, I love working with couples.

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   Do you work with individuals that may have a skin disorder, like Dermatitis?

• It depends on the severity of your disorder. e.g Eczema / Psoriasis, is it inflamed? I would suggest that you wait until any and all skin lesion are healed. If it's contagious, please refrain from booking an appointment.

 

  Why do you pre-screen your appointments?

• My safety is paramount. All first-time visitors must be vetted. ( NO exceptions )

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   This is a silly question. Do you party?

• Yes occasionally. Oh, you don't mean a night on the town? Nah, my oasis is a smoke free 420 / drug-free zone.  Please do not show up to your appointment intoxicated unless you are high off life. In the event you get the jitters, I have a well-stocked bar and will be more than happy to pour you a shot.

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  What happens if I cancel my confirmed appointment?

• I know that life gets in the way and things happen; however, I need at least 24hrs notice to move things around when my schedule is being thrown off. If your cancellation is on the same day of our appointment you will be required to pay a surcharge of $300. If you are not forthright with your payment. You will be banned from making any future appointments with me.

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   Do you accept tips

• It's never expected, but always a nice touch! Your generosity is never overlooked.